Shine

A dream worth living for, what is it?

I don't know about you, but I know people who live for their dream.

They work towards it, fight for it and reach it. Then they dream again.

So do I.

I have my own. I planned it well since young and has been walking towards it quite smoothly ever since. It's both joy and anxiousness that's boiling inside me with every second I am closer to it.

I'm coming near, and yet I'm still walking.

Not yet, not yet.

I have applied for the BPTC and has successfully been accepted into Cardiff University's Bar School as well as Northumbria University. To be honest, I cried out in dismay when I received these emails.

Because the toughest decision is ahead.

I drowned myself in happiness, because I think being accepted into Bar School is a VERY BIG deal. I'm all happy and jumpy, until I talked to my Mom about it.

I was upset and I was mad at her.

I even refused to talk to her for a few days.

The pain of having something so magnificent in front of you and yet not being able to reach it, do you understand it?

I talked to Siong about it and she said that if she knew it would hurt this much, she wouldn't have asked me to apply for it.

Our joke at the time was that I'll be able to turn it down later anyway.

It turns out that it's not that easy or simple. Never will.

I know I have alternatives but at the point in time, I'm so pained that I just kept crying and crying.

It's bitter and rough, the slap is too hard.

It took me days to swallow reality and to see things in a neutral light.

I know I need to subside my anger to think. Giving myself plenty of calming moments and psychological therapy, I managed to finally cool my head.

It's not the end of the road.

My dreams are not shattered. I've foreseen this anyway. Just that when a better opportunity comes, people tend to jump on it. I am no different.

I will not deny that doing the BPTC would upgrade myself for sure because it's all about practical. But Siong also said this to me: you have skills.

And it really, really made me think.

Knowledge comes two ways: you learn or you experience.

If I can't learn, I will experience. I may not be as well as the BPTC graduates, but I'm sure I'll catch up! I'll make sure I will!! :D

As for my parents, I'm sure they've tried their best.

It was too naive and immature of me to go volcanic on them. All parents wished the best for their kids.

Isn't it enough I'm living now?

What more can I ask for?

I think I'm already having a hard time repaying them for what I have now, so let's not add to that tab eh? :P

Also, I'm finally saying it.

I miss home.

I miss my dogs. I miss Lucky so, so very much.

I miss my family and my random hang-out sessions!!

Living style? Yeah, I'd go back anytime.

So there, another reason to go home :P

I used all these to convince myself that going home wasn't a bad idea and you know what? I think these are all damn good reasons.

You just cannot deny it!

Heh!

Dakara minna, I'm going hoooooooome~!

:D

Start making appointments now, people! Because once I start CLP, I may not experience life anymore.

Hahaa!

I will keeep on dreaming!

I will struggle, AND SHINE!!!!!!!! :D

What will I draw on the tomorrow that spreads infinitely, pure white?

What will I draw on the tomorrow that reality stained pure black?

I struggle and shine

- Complication by ROOKiEZ is PUNK'D, from Durarara!!! Link.

Soccer!

Hajimete da!

I have stepped into the world of football.

Not just the watching part.

No, not the cheerleading part too.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am PLAYING FOOTBALL.

I. DO. IT.

I wasn't sure of myself at first. I was invited by a senior and thought I could go and see how it's like and decide from there.

Another thing to consider is that I have not been playing sports in a loooooooong time and who knows when will I pass out on the ground and die.

But it doesn't turn out too badly.

Yet (?). Hahaa!

I got my first practice yesterday, also my first time playing.

Of course, we girls don't play with our heads or chest; merely because we choose not to.

TOO RISKY!!

I don't want to be flat chested altogether, that'd be too sad.

It was really fun, I have to say :D

Lots of running around and I almost died running into the opponent.

Key points: Scream and kick and scream.

Hahaa.

Looking forward to my next practice, although I'm dying of muscle pain and stiffness already.

I can't bend forward. LOL.

On a side note, I went to Primark today to get a new set of bed covers (it's butterflies motive!!!!). I'm desperate because my legs are itchy and has many little red spots like bug bites!

I suspect bed bugs but who knows?

So I'm gonna detox my whole room (with the hope no one and no plants die in the process) this weekend and change the sheets altogether.

My point is, the pack I bought doesn't include the bed sheet.

WTH??

It only has one pillowcase and the duvet cover.

Dude! No one sell things like this, can!

Now I need to go all the way to town again. Geez!

OK, 0900 class tomorrow.

MUST. SURVIVE. DOUBLE. DOSE. OF. TRUST!

Oyasumi!

Draw!

It's a popular and overrated game now:

Draw My Thing.

On Iphones however, it's called Draw Something.

Anyway.

I had my rounds with Kao-chan and I have to say, WE'RE BRIMMING WITH AWESOMENESS!

We're just too good for each other.

My drawings as correctly guessed by her.

Africa.

Barn.

Audience.

Soldier.

Earth. She said this doesn't look like it till I draw the space. How is this not Earth?? It's so obvious!!

Her drawings, as correctly guessed by me.

Marshmallow.

Bird. Without the beak. LOL.

Rocking horse.

Treasure chest.

Statue.

Even with time lapsing and being divided by the vast Atlantic, our telepathy NEVER FADE!!!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHA!!

This is only reinforced when I showed her a video of Hard Gay, which she also coincidentally watched on the same day.

Sometimes, it's just too creepy.

Side note, you should go watch Hard Gay.

SO. AWESOME.

And obscene too. Hahaa!

Domo~ Hardo gei desu~ *spinsoneround* *rickymartinlivindalocaplayinginthebackground*

Tell Me

I mentioned it, if you love me, tell me.

At the same time, if you forgive me, TELL ME!

Now I don't know if you're just brushing it off or hiding behind that happy facade of yours.

Damn it.

I won't be able to sleep tonight.

If you hate me, tell me.

If you don't want to befriend me anymore, tell me.

If you really like me, tell me.

If you don't tell me, I won't know.

And if I don't know, I can't sleep.

So, tell me.

Oh dear. Please forgive me.

More Cross Over!!

I am now reading..

GET BACKERS!!

Ban so hot *nosebleedfaints*

In Volume 5..! Try to spot!

Zoomed in for you. Still can't see?

Tadaa~! It's Plue from Rave!! The mangaka even thanked Rave's mangaka for the permission :D

LOL! For Plue to appear as one of the greatest collection of drawings! FUNNEH!

Plue!

I miss Haru!!

I'm in no hurry to finish GB, because it's still ongoing!

Such a magnificent story, how could I possibly pass??

Jaana~!